December, December the 12th of Never

So the year ticks away again like the one before it and the one before that and like the many since they began to tick-by via proportional age vs. time sensibility (or so I'm told anyway) and I haven’t written as much as I should this year -- but have read and learnt much, of which I will share this: People can't be trusted. You can love them but probably best to not trust them. For every individual is a psyche-mess of worms crawling slow holes through the boring hubris of their own confusions and projections and desperate bids to mark time, to award recently past epochs with medals in a vainglorious attempt to stem the flow of time, but it’s unknowing really and soldiers-on within or without you as I and George Harrison have often said. But that’s a bit harsh don’t you think Denski? 

Well, perhaps...but here's what Father Bob Maguire might say on the subject: 

"You don’t have to like people you just have to love them". 

Nice one Bob. Melbourne would almost certainly be a nicer more humanistic experience if you were in charge, even allowing his ongoing belief in imaginary friend's trinity.

You’re being a bit obtuse Den.
Yes, perhaps so.

I guess I’m out for a spontaneous bit of self-aggrandizing...to bounce my intellectual ball off the wall and see how many times I can catch it. I've not had a good day. My confidence in people has lost a five round split-decision, the referee's eyes were painted on...

C'mon digger People easily won that fight.
Yes, perhaps 

-- but historically it shall appear as an "L" in the result column. And now I’m just peppering up the next plateful of slightly overcooked hubris because if Floorstar were still alive he'd agree and he'd say something akin to: those other people are all morons, well-meaning morons who cannot be trusted because you cannot successfully reason with them and as I said to a living friend this morning via text, often times I feel like I'm on an intellectual island by myself and that worldview aint gonna win me too many new friends now is it?

Your being a wanker Den.
Yes, perhaps

-- but I'm just trying to amuse myself. Get some revs on the ball...dig? Impart some spin...bowl the bastards out.

Charlotte: Why do they switch the r's and the l's here?

Bob: Uh... for yuks. You know? Just to mix it up...

They have to amuse themselves, 'cause we're not making them laugh.

I should end this obscurist blurt on something of a more positive note and that is this: I did learn a lot this year. I learnt that people can love you and still fuck you over. I learnt that life is amazing; despite it best efforts to be shithouse. "With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world".
I learnt that it doesn’t pay to repeatedly broadcast in private cant, secret personalia dripping with private in-jokes (See Bob & Charlotte above)...no wait I already knew that, but I re-learnt it. I learnt that I am constantly relearning things that I thought I already knew, or I learnt them and forgot them only to be reminded again.

Isn’t that just remembering something Den?

Perhaps, yes.

And finally I learnt this: "Son, six wardens have been through here in my tenure,and I've learned one immutable, universal truth: Not one of them born whose asshole wouldn't pucker up tighter than a snare drum when you ask them for funds." 

No! Wait that's my favourite movie.-- Sorry I'm fatiguing. (I haven’t done enough Brechtian dips or Kerouacian burpees this year) So finally,…finally I learnt this: I'm more at peace with sham and drudgery, I still dream like a youth who dreams long long dreams, I still hope...I still pray to the Universe like Nanna taught me to do and I am surer now, than at any other time in my brief sojourn through this world, about what is right...or rather what the correct way to live might actually look like. No doubt the correct or good life takes many forms and none of them are money-grubbing, BMW SUV polishing, stepping on people, taking advantage of the weaker, or stupider or nearly anything that the modern corporate world would have you believe to be the correct path. This might be the last thing I post here, you just never know....but more likely it will be the last thing I post here this year. I wish you all the best for 2015, nice looking number right?

I love you, but I don’t like you.

I love you too Den.

Perhaps, yes.